Disrupt Imposter Syndrome with B- Work Mindset
I remember feeling horrified the first time someone suggested that I shift my standards from the ever elusive perfectionist fantasy to a B- work mindset. It made zero sense to me. Why would anyone strive for B-work? I could not imagine what B- work would look like. That was the life-changing moment when I caught myself in a lie. I knew exactly what B- work would look like because I ran from it with my quest for perfectionism. B- work would mean failure. My writing would fail. My project would fail. I would fail. B- work would look like me failing. Sounds like a dramatic rant, I know, but it felt logical and true. This was the thought error that kept me stuck in a writing cycle of procrastination, frenzied activity and white-knuckle worry.
If you are feeling a strong resistance swelling up inside your body as you read these words, stick with me for a few more paragraphs. My goal is not to convince you to submit B- work. Instead, I ask that you suspend your judgment about whatever you imagine B- work to look like and consider how B- work mindset could help you reach your goals.
B- work mindset encourages exploration and creativity.
I remember trying to write my dissertation the way that I thought my mentor would write it. Keep in mind that she was a world-renowned author of at least ten academic texts and numerous articles at the time. Obviously, we were not the same person so that was already an impossible goal that I set for myself. Additionally, I was a first-generation student and I did not know anyone who had written a dissertation, aside from my professors. I doubted myself the whole way through my doctoral program, but writing ramped up the imposter syndrome to an astronomical level. I wanted so badly to get it “right.” Little did I know that writing for perfection squelches creativity and innovation. To be fair, I was still getting used to the idea that I could generate my own scholarship. Perfection requires flawlessness and we all know that early stage idea formulation is a messy process. We often end up tossing most of it anyway. But, sometimes we generate and uncover one nugget of an idea that shapes our thinking profoundly. That’s the beauty of B- work. It invites us to take chances, ask questions and wonder about connections without performing faux certainty in front of a committee or even ourselves. This is your dissertation and it flows from your passion and your ideas. B- work mindset gives us permission to be ourselves within the process and to write the dissertation that inspires us.
B- work mindset eases writer’s block
You know the feeling when you sit down to write at your scheduled time, but you don’t know where to begin or what to write? Those were the moments when I would decide that I could be a more “productive” writer if I first started a load of laundry, worked out, vacuumed, prepped my lunch for the next day, made more coffee, or checked my email one last time just to clear my mind. I would try again and stare at the blank page in front of me. Ultimately, I would ruminate and wonder once again if I had any business in grad school. None of that thinking helped me write. It was the voice of my inner critic who chimes in whenever I put myself in a vulnerable situation. Writer’s block is no joke. B- work mindset disrupts writer’s block because it offers space to write without the pressure of critique. I don’t censor myself out of fear that I won’t achieve some profound philosophical enlightenment on the first try. A blank page or screen is only scary if I think that each word must be perfect. But, B- work? I could write that all day because I don’t feel the expectation to perform when writing a first draft. B- work mindset overrides procrastination so that we can put our thoughts on paper and get to the business of writing. This approach produces drafts which is what it takes to finish a dissertation.
B- work mindset neutralizes feedback and scheduling fear.
This approach builds the muscle of receiving, interpreting and integrating feedback. We often fear the feedback that we might receive. I remember anticipating the worst case scenario and trying to write with that dread hanging over my head. It was easy to begin equating feedback about my drafts with judgments about myself as a scholar. That’s what can make writing feel so terrifying. B- work mindset offers an opportunity to suspend the notion that “flaws” in a draft mean something about us as a people. The way to produce a high quality dissertation is to write many thoughtful drafts and that takes some time. That’s what we signed up for when we started this process, even though we wish that we could be the unicorn that gets it “perfect” on the first try. I mean, who wouldn’t want that dissertation magic? I ask you to imagine the real life freedom you would experience by viewing feedback as a neutral and an expected part of your writing. It is the process. Nothing has gone wrong. In fact, receiving feedback moves you closer to your goal of completion. Welcoming feedback and editing also encourages realistic scheduling. No more squeezing in last minute writing before a submission deadline, resurrecting the perfectionist crunch, write, worry cycle.
Adopting a B-work mindset has been one of the most profound practices that I have learned as a coach, scholar and human. I am always all of those identities, but I see the benefits of this mindset operating in each area of my life. It teaches me to calm my nervous system, guides me to produce scholarship that reflects what I care about and how I want to show up in the world and it reminds me to practice kindness in all my relationships, including the one with myself. I had no idea that striving for a B- work mindset would be one avenue of liberation for my perfectionist brain.
Give it a try and let me know how your version of a B- work mindset helps you reach your goals: michelle@michellemorkert.com